








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5337 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5833 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4578 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3734 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,891 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 631 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Gamer | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | doobatron | 67% | 174 |
| #3 | Stinza | 64% | 95 |
| #4 | Schmidty | 61% | 94 |
| #5 | Shika | 58% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stinza | 64% | 95 |
| #4 | Schmidty | 61% | 94 |
| #5 | Shika | 58% | 91 |
| #6 | Xover | 55% | 238 |
| #7 | shleepy | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doobatron | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Schmidty | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ✪ Gamer | 6 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Xover | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Shika | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xover | 667 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Stinza | 286 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | doobatron | 282 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Shika | 238 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Schmidty | 198 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mocha | +4.70 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | doobatron | +1.31 | 83 | 60 |
| #3 | Schmidty | +0.15 | 67 | 47 |
| #4 | ✪ Gamer | -0.13 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Shika | -0.40 | 77 | 57 |





