








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6293 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5499 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5284 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4962 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,378 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | poopyhead | 59% | 79 |
| #6 | doobatron | 58% | 471 |
| #7 | Shika | 56% | 170 |
| #8 | Mayorsayso | 56% | 34 |
| #9 | shleepy | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doobatron | 555 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #2 | Shika | 386 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Schmidty | 356 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | poopyhead | 296 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mocha | 266 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mocha | +3.77 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Mayorsayso | +3.07 | 95 | 63 |
| #3 | doobatron | +2.87 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | poopyhead | +2.27 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | duhpe | +2.06 | 90 | 58 |





