








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1716 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2630 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1746 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2089 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,825,431 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Vi | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 49% | 88 |
| #3 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | duffrose | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Katarina | 46% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 32 | 0.0387 |
| #2 | Katarina | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | slipi_playMCwithme | 12 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ada ♱ | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | Amber | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | 611 | 0.35 | 13 min |
| #2 | ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ Ada ♱ | 227 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Femboy Vi | 141 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | slipi_playMCwithme | 139 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kitten | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Vi | +7.99 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | Katarina | +3.64 | 69 | 49 |
| #3 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | +3.06 | 77 | 56 |
| #4 | Faye ~ ♡ :3 | +2.89 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | 4444 LEGALIZE PEEING IN THE SINK | +2.43 | 63 | 51 |





