










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 406 | 31% |
| Smokes | 328 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 331 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $95,494 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BECHO BEGRE | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | SaltyPatty | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | sl3nd | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Dytor62 | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Tauson | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | En3rget1c | 50% | 2 |
| #10 | Jimpphat | 50% | 2 |
| #11 | PerdY | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | forsyy | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | kreaz | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerdY | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PerdY | 53 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | Beavis- | 35 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | BECHO BEGRE | 32 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | fredk00 | 25 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | realzen | 24 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realzen | +6.26 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Jimpphat | +5.70 | 97 | 75 |
| #3 | sl3nd | +5.38 | 93 | 71 |
| #4 | forsyy | +2.60 | 90 | 54 |
| #5 | Tauson | +2.59 | 97 | 79 |





