








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 590 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1173 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 984 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,468 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ۵ suplyfe 宝 | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | BlacK | 81% | 21 |
| #3 | nikk0☆ | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | w4rden | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | noone | 74% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Beavis- | 72% | 50 |
| #7 | Nogyyy | 71% | 7 |
| #8 | moomin | 62% | 29 |
| #9 | trg | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | forsyy | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noone | 7 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Beavis- | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | moomin | 6 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | trg | 5 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | BlacK | 5 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beavis- | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | noone | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | forsyy | 102 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | nikk0☆ | 69 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | BlacK | 69 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | realzen | +3.45 | 85 | 62 |
| #2 | ۵ suplyfe 宝 | +3.18 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | forsyy | +3.09 | 96 | 59 |
| #4 | BlacK | +2.08 | 87 | 53 |
| #5 | w4rden | +1.78 | 80 | 59 |





