








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 719 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1830 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3338 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3334 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3185 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,751 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GROLAR | 82% | 72 |
| #2 | ws | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Bot Old Fart | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 63% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 63% | 64 |
| #6 | MasterBaiter | 59% | 32 |
| #7 | SPECTRE | 59% | 54 |
| #8 | IceNFire5522 | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceNFire5522 | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | SPECTRE | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Barry Badrinath 🚒 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | GROLAR | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | MasterBaiter | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPECTRE | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | MasterBaiter | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ♚Uncle Roger♚™ | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | GROLAR | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bot Old Fart | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IceNFire5522 | +3.65 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | SPECTRE | +2.86 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | GR0LAR | +2.17 | 70 | 57 |
| #4 | Bot Old Fart | +1.43 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | MasterBaiter | +0.83 | 59 | 50 |





