








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2911 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2266 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2692 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2430 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,695 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | It's NateID | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | Ya Grandma's Favorite Streamer | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Pope Antonii I | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Grizshaw | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | JustaTheory | 45% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtinctleader | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Krosser | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | hedgehog shitting | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Saint | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | JustaTheory | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtinctleader | 461 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | JustaTheory | 277 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Krosser | 258 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Saint | 195 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | hedgehog shitting | 166 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | It's NateID | +7.10 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Xtinctleader | +2.55 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Krosser | +1.75 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | Pope Antonii I | +1.45 | 50 | 49 |
| #5 | JustaTheory | +0.94 | 44 | 57 |





