








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1261 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1498 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,351 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKT Neoff | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | hedgehog shitting | 40% | 63 |
| #3 | JustaTheory | 38% | 76 |
| #4 | BetaNite | 37% | 76 |
| #5 | Grizshaw | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BetaNite | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | JustaTheory | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Xtinctleader | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Riichi | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Krosser | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtinctleader | 304 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | BetaNite | 204 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Krosser | 143 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | hedgehog shitting | 135 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Combat Arm Veteran | 82 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKT Neoff | +4.83 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | Xtinctleader | +3.01 | 58 | 67 |
| #3 | Krosser | +2.77 | 71 | 71 |
| #4 | Color | +0.97 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | hedgehog shitting | +0.81 | 80 | 53 |





