








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 615 | 34% |
| Smokes | 464 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,539 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bananapie | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | kyuubii | 85% | 27 |
| #3 | true love | 83% | 35 |
| #4 | SHEEZY | 81% | 42 |
| #5 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 79% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rhyzar | 8 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | Bananapie | 6 | 0.0364 |
| #3 | SHEEZY | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | kyuubii | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | true love | 135 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | SHEEZY | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | kyuubii | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rhyzar | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyuubii | +5.04 | 94 | 67 |
| #2 | true love | +4.26 | 94 | 73 |
| #3 | pxsl | +3.71 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | Astralis Tr1cky | +2.23 | 83 | 83 |
| #5 | Bananapie | +2.03 | 78 | 74 |





