










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 25% |
| Smokes | 746 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 692 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,671 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | true love | 88% | 41 |
| #2 | SHEEZY | 87% | 30 |
| #3 | pxsl | 85% | 27 |
| #4 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 85% | 26 |
| #5 | ScrunK | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxsl | 7 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | SHEEZY | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | true love | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ScrunK | 1 | 0.0128 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | true love | 156 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | pxsl | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | SHEEZY | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | tabseN | 58 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hecle01 #gurkentruppe | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScrunK | +4.83 | 94 | 84 |
| #2 | kyuubii | +4.68 | 95 | 72 |
| #3 | true love | +4.46 | 93 | 74 |
| #4 | pxsl | +1.87 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | HYperrrr • Kinguin ❤ | +1.78 | 98 | 79 |





