








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 25% |
| Smokes | 217 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,139 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxsl | 6 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | SHEEZY | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | kyuubii | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | true love | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | true love | 146 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | SHEEZY | 89 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | kyuubii | 74 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | pxsl | 55 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Eugeeen | 35 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyuubii | +5.47 | 96 | 70 |
| #2 | true love | +4.97 | 94 | 79 |
| #3 | pxsl | +2.56 | 86 | 62 |
| #4 | SHEEZY | +2.34 | 93 | 70 |
| #5 | crybaby | +1.99 | 65 | 62 |





