








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2468 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2010 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2247 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3199 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2710 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,823 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andreui | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | keijuls | 53% | 280 |
| #3 | Gold Digger | 52% | 309 |
| #4 | kETKU | 52% | 292 |
| #5 | Ode | 52% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andreui | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | keijuls | 53% | 280 |
| #3 | Gold Digger | 52% | 309 |
| #4 | kETKU | 52% | 292 |
| #5 | Ode | 52% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gold Digger | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Ode | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | keijuls | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | kETKU | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gold Digger | 1277 | 0.20 | 34 min |
| #2 | kETKU | 1105 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #3 | Ode | 887 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #4 | keijuls | 570 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | andreui | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keijuls | +1.49 | 74 | 71 |
| #2 | kETKU | +0.86 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Gold Digger | +0.61 | 65 | 75 |
| #4 | Ode | +0.43 | 68 | 76 |
| #5 | Uskomaton Tappokone | -2.28 | 46 | 63 |





