








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 49 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1039 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,947 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 699 | 24% |
| Smokes | 738 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 816 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,197 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staehr | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | TOP G | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | jabbi | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | nifo | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | IceBerg | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TMB • WAOO | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | DOKZ ))) | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | Kristou | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | haaAAAa | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Buzz | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TMB • WAOO | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | TOP G | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabbi | 101 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | Staehr | 85 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | TMB • WAOO | 46 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | DOKZ ))) | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kristou | 30 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Staehr | +4.06 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | SirahBo$$ | +1.52 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | jabbi | +1.33 | 91 | 73 |
| #4 | TMB • WAOO | +1.11 | 74 | 83 |
| #5 | IceBerg | +1.06 | 64 | 80 |





