








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 538 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,517 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2959 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1002 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2194 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1362 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,092 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Lxvel | 66% | 73 |
| #2 | Ciggie | 56% | 121 |
| #3 | Wango | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Derpmaster213 | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ciggie | 56% | 121 |
| #3 | Wango | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Derpmaster213 | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | boy | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ciggie | 23 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Derpmaster213 | 18 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | Papa Lxvel | 9 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Wango | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | CuteBoyThighs | 3 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ciggie | 646 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | Papa Lxvel | 278 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Derpmaster213 | 156 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | boy | 145 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wango | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CuteBoyThighs | +4.60 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | boy | +4.56 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | Ciggie | +3.35 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Derpmaster213 | +2.34 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | YODIELAND | -0.97 | 30 | 64 |





