








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 821 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1404 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1000 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,375 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hil | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | H e g e | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | KITT | 65% | 66 |
| #4 | Tidiiss aka andrew tate | 64% | 33 |
| #5 | Dharok Obama | 59% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tidiiss aka andrew tate | 9 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | Dharok Obama | 7 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Hankku | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | xsorkkarauta | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | KITT | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dharok Obama | 183 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | KITT | 140 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | hil | 76 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hankku | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | xsorkkarauta | 59 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hil | +4.01 | 66 | 82 |
| #2 | Ven♿M | +3.24 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | s0rppa | +2.10 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | KITT | +1.24 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | xsorkkarauta | +1.14 | 46 | 49 |





