








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1358 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1057 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 695 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $291,564 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | Dave | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | Theo Yūji | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | ExeK- | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | _nlz | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Theo Yūji | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | ExeK- | 55% | 85 |
| #5 | _nlz | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | .promii- | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | unit | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | ExeK- | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | .promii- | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | unit | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | _nlz | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | 342 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | unit | 120 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | ExeK- | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fritt' | 86 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dave | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | +1.64 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | ExeK- | +0.88 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | Dave | +0.80 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | .pazii | +0.27 | 82 | 56 |
| #5 | Theo Yūji | -0.07 | 54 | 56 |





