








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1987 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1957 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1026 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1267 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,250 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unit | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | _nlz | 64% | 44 |
| #3 | Fritt' | 64% | 66 |
| #4 | Theo Yūji | 62% | 84 |
| #5 | Dave | 60% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Theo Yūji | 62% | 84 |
| #5 | Dave | 60% | 58 |
| #6 | .promii- | 57% | 60 |
| #7 | .pazii | 55% | 85 |
| #8 | LH97 | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritt' | 16 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Theo Yūji | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | .promii- | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | unit | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | LH97 | 5 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .promii- | 317 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | unit | 259 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #3 | .pazii | 216 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fritt' | 186 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | _nlz | 121 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theo Yūji | +1.94 | 57 | 51 |
| #2 | .promii- | +1.79 | 89 | 69 |
| #3 | .pazii | +1.67 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | ExeK- | +0.97 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | Dave | +0.48 | 77 | 60 |





