








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 19% |
| Smokes | 824 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1002 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,661 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 597 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | 57% | 60 |
| #2 | mordecai | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | upplemush | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Waffles | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | Akuza | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beat up Adidas | 8 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Akuza | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Balls 4 | 6 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | swag messiah | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Good. | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | 192 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Beat up Adidas | 104 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Waffles | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Balls 4 | 66 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Good. | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | upplemush | +5.77 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | swag messiah | +3.59 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | tpott | +2.60 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | blinkerton city | +0.13 | 72 | 39 |
| #5 | mordecai | -0.36 | 68 | 42 |





