








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 41% |
| Smokes | 281 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 151 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,412 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Waffles | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Akuza | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | tpott | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | upplemush | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akuza | 7 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | tpott | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #3 | blinkerton city | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Balls 4 | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | upplemush | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls 4 | 97 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | tpott | 63 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | blinkerton city | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Waffles | 45 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | upplemush | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | +7.20 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | tpott | +6.45 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | upplemush | +5.35 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | blinkerton city | +0.10 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | Waffles | -0.05 | 84 | 55 |





