








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 66 | 5% |
| Smokes | 13 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 62% |
| Molotovs | 397 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,031 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 284 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beat up Adidas | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | swag messiah | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | blinkerton city | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | tpott | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | upplemush | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls 4 | 11 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Beat up Adidas | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | blinkerton city | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | tpott | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Good. | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balls 4 | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Beat up Adidas | 148 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | tpott | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | blinkerton city | 62 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | upplemush | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swag messiah | +7.43 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | tpott | +6.38 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | upplemush | +6.10 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | blinkerton city | +0.94 | 75 | 44 |
| #5 | Beat up Adidas | -0.80 | 49 | 25 |





