








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3017 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2974 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1437 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2630 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,017 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bozo | 61% | 76 |
| #2 | ABCDZNUTZ | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | blinkerton city | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | swag messiah | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | pokemon master | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | swag messiah | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | pokemon master | 38% | 48 |
| #6 | Balls 4 | 22% | 18 |
| #7 | Chocolate Sugarlove | 21% | 14 |
| #8 | Akuza | 13% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABCDZNUTZ | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | bozo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Balls 4 | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #4 | swag messiah | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Akuza | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bozo | 226 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ABCDZNUTZ | 143 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | swag messiah | 86 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Balls 4 | 36 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | pokemon master | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bozo | +4.47 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | swag messiah | +3.56 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | ABCDZNUTZ | +1.26 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | blinkerton city | +0.53 | 70 | 44 |
| #5 | Waffles | +0.03 | 61 | 56 |





