








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2800 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1679 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2065 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,099 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiwijord | 48% | 82 |
| #2 | kenZera | 42% | 226 |
| #3 | MeR | 41% | 192 |
| #4 | Juice | 38% | 65 |
| #5 | Cotey | 38% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenZera | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MeR | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Cotey | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | denziN | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | kiwijord | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenZera | 961 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | Cotey | 695 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | kiwijord | 379 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | denziN | 297 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | MeR | 230 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kenZera | +4.66 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | kiwijord | +2.77 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | Juice | +1.14 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | MeR | -0.43 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | Cotey | -1.10 | 54 | 67 |





