








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1626 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 657 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8977 | 46% |
| Smokes | 6279 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 3008 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,008,649 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anasasis | 93% | 58 |
| #2 | /qinsy. | 92% | 63 |
| #3 | Kjaerbye | 89% | 83 |
| #4 | t4bles | 87% | 91 |
| #5 | scapederp | 86% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | scapederp | 86% | 104 |
| #6 | -Silver2k | 85% | 383 |
| #7 | blue slime | 85% | 441 |
| #8 | Ezelpigu | 85% | 695 |
| #9 | sherwin | 84% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezelpigu | 23 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Anasasis | 9 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | scapederp | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | blue slime | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | -Silver2k | 5 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blue slime | 1008 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | sherwin | 634 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Ezelpigu | 392 | 0.03 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kjaerbye | 197 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | scapederp | 190 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anasasis | +4.78 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | /qinsy. | +4.57 | 90 | 65 |
| #3 | scapederp | +4.40 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | blue slime | +4.15 | 90 | 65 |
| #5 | taco | +3.88 | 92 | 72 |





