








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Wingman | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




168 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8282 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4558 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4815 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3017 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,207,741 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 50% | 46 |
| #2 | 9mm Burana | 46% | 84 |
| #3 | SuolaneKorppu | 38% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 50% | 46 |
| #2 | 9mm Burana | 46% | 84 |
| #3 | SuolaneKorppu | 38% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9mm Burana | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 8 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | SuolaneKorppu | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | 221 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | 9mm Burana | 59 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | SuolaneKorppu | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Seasonal Depression ♥ | +3.81 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | 9mm Burana | +1.65 | 48 | 46 |
| #3 | Ruskyjb4ndit | -0.08 | 43 | 44 |
| #4 | SuolaneKorppu | -1.65 | 14 | 24 |





