








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 113 | 42% |
| Smokes | 69 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 44 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,212 of utility $14 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bomp | 52% | 31 |
| #2 | dingle | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | 47% | 95 |
| #4 | Zen | 47% | 62 |
| #5 | xepois | 47% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mutt | 37% | 99 |
| #9 | Alex | 35% | 93 |
| #10 | Benjy | 32% | 50 |
| #11 | Rabid | 29% | 95 |
| #12 | charlie7q | 27% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rqin | 54 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | xepois | 41 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | Zen | 29 | 0.0243 |
| #4 | Alex | 28 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | charlie7q | 24 | 0.0209 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 339 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Benjy | 279 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | xepois | 251 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rabid | 239 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Trekdar | 217 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen | +5.65 | 91 | 45 |
| #2 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | +5.21 | 71 | 26 |
| #3 | dingle | +5.14 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | Alex | +3.76 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Bomp | +2.82 | 92 | 47 |





