








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1010 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1070 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1381 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,003 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Trekdar | 45% | 218 |
| #3 | Alex | 45% | 266 |
| #4 | Benjy | 43% | 190 |
| #5 | Rabid | 39% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Trekdar | 45% | 218 |
| #3 | Alex | 45% | 266 |
| #4 | Benjy | 43% | 190 |
| #5 | Rabid | 39% | 146 |
| #6 | Serriinee | 37% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 54 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Trekdar | 35 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Benjy | 34 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Rabid | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Serriinee | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benjy | 890 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | Alex | 760 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | Trekdar | 670 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Rabid | 328 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ben | 88 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | +3.11 | 78 | 54 |
| #2 | Benjy | +2.10 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | Ben | +1.75 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | Trekdar | +0.71 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | Mutt | -2.01 | 31 | 45 |





