








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1070 | 28% |
| Smokes | 898 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 992 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 844 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,487 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 42% | 12 |
| #2 | Trekdar | 41% | 128 |
| #3 | Alex | 41% | 162 |
| #4 | xepois | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | Mutt | 39% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xepois | 41% | 39 |
| #5 | Mutt | 39% | 146 |
| #6 | Benjy | 36% | 103 |
| #7 | charlie7q | 31% | 13 |
| #8 | Serriinee | 29% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 37 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Trekdar | 28 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Mutt | 21 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | xepois | 13 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Benjy | 11 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 478 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Benjy | 455 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Trekdar | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Mutt | 120 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | xepois | 71 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | +3.37 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | xepois | +1.34 | 46 | 38 |
| #3 | Benjy | +1.17 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | charlie7q | +0.74 | 42 | 14 |
| #5 | Ben | +0.58 | 71 | 49 |





