








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 22% |
| Smokes | 790 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 796 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 833 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $654,950 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xepois | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Zen | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | 44% | 63 |
| #4 | Serriinee | 44% | 124 |
| #5 | Chef Olofsson | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Zen | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | 44% | 63 |
| #4 | Serriinee | 44% | 124 |
| #5 | Chef Olofsson | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | charlie7q | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen | 11 | 0.0251 |
| #2 | Serriinee | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | xepois | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | charlie7q | 3 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | 58 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | xepois | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Zen | 25 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | charlie7q | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Serriinee | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zen | +5.41 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | ⚓︎ UlanyDancer⚓ | +3.52 | 69 | 29 |
| #3 | xepois | +2.39 | 41 | 40 |
| #4 | Rqin | +0.14 | 75 | 47 |
| #5 | Chef Olofsson | -0.35 | 70 | 38 |





