








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 196 | 32% |
| Smokes | 173 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 129 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,871 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke employee | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Choo Choo | 92% | 12 |
| #3 | Dolphinio | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | cheers | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Nakey Toad | 72% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | cheers | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | Nakey Toad | 72% | 25 |
| #6 | .Pav | 67% | 30 |
| #7 | Gervinho | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | Bonson Crate | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheers | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Nakey Toad | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Bonson Crate | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Pav | 98 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Nakey Toad | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | cheers | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Dolphinio | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gervinho | 6 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheers | +15.78 | 99 | 41 |
| #2 | Dolphinio | +7.91 | 86 | 40 |
| #3 | Nakey Toad | +1.75 | 57 | 58 |
| #4 | Choo Choo | +0.45 | 69 | 34 |
| #5 | .Pav | +0.34 | 84 | 59 |





