








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1453 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 311 | 13% |
| Smokes | 679 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 535 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $271,048 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphinio | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | sam | 92% | 12 |
| #3 | .Pav | 84% | 19 |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 55% | 114 |
| #5 | Gervinho | 47% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 55% | 114 |
| #5 | Gervinho | 47% | 88 |
| #6 | Dale | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | Geralt of rivia | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Fluff | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dale | 14 | 0.0289 |
| #2 | Nakey Toad | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Fluff | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Gervinho | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Geralt of rivia | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nakey Toad | 144 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | Gervinho | 112 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Geralt of rivia | 95 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | .Pav | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dale | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphinio | +7.67 | 87 | 41 |
| #2 | Geralt of rivia | +4.78 | 56 | 69 |
| #3 | Dale | +2.71 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | +1.94 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | .Pav | +0.56 | 80 | 60 |





