








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 96 | 22% |
| Smokes | 111 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 151 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $42,427 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke employee | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | sam | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | .Pav | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Bonson Crate | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | .Pav | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | Bonson Crate | 70% | 10 |
| #6 | Dolphinio | 67% | 6 |
| #7 | Gervinho | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sam | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | Nakey Toad | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Bonson Crate | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Dolphinio | 1 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Pav | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | sam | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | Dolphinio | 13 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bonson Crate | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheers | +12.74 | 99 | 39 |
| #2 | Dolphinio | +11.21 | 99 | 42 |
| #3 | Nakey Toad | +0.73 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | .Pav | -0.10 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | sam | -1.56 | 89 | 37 |





