








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 25% |
| Smokes | 159 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 187 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 301 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,021 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Choo Choo | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | .Pav | 83% | 18 |
| #3 | sam | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | Nakey Toad | 71% | 24 |
| #5 | cheers | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Gervinho | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | ouibri | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | LolograМ | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | gaz.g | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke employee | 1 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Pav | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Nakey Toad | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | ouibri | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | LolograМ | 33 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dolphinio | +6.19 | 94 | 37 |
| #2 | cheers | +1.89 | 99 | 27 |
| #3 | LolograМ | +1.55 | 89 | 73 |
| #4 | Choo Choo | +1.21 | 67 | 32 |
| #5 | ZADEY_VAL TTV | +1.02 | 80 | 62 |





