








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 27% |
| Smokes | 357 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 361 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 492 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,401 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Condi | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | ✪Fala -ThePigeon- | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Jonathan Scott | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | ReD | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | bLIT | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | 310 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | KillswitchZz -OC- | 121 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Meth0d | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | bLIT | 61 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jonathan Scott | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axc | +4.00 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | nippe | +3.70 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | Jonathan Scott | +1.81 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Kantic- | +1.53 | 69 | 80 |
| #5 | bLIT | +1.24 | 78 | 66 |





