








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 467 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4317 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3379 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2569 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,033 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kantic- | 54% | 226 |
| #7 | Meth0d | 49% | 78 |
| #8 | ALZ | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | .Antoinette. | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | Efofe | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | 26 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ReD | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ALZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Meth0d | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | .Antoinette. | 1 | 0.0009 |





