








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3003 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2075 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2752 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2517 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,241 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Meth0d | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Rindiculous | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Mauwser | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Meth0d | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Rindiculous | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Mauwser | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rindiculous | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Mauwser | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Kantic- | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rindiculous | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mauwser | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kantic- | 90 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Meth0d | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kantic- | +2.87 | 68 | 81 |
| #2 | Rindiculous | +1.69 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | ✪Fala -ThePigeon- | +1.61 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Mauwser | -0.55 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Meth0d | -0.68 | 59 | 62 |





