








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1815 | 44% |
| Smokes | 633 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,576 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airballer :3 | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | disembodied feminine aura | 69% | 36 |
| #3 | cult of the gyatt | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | cosmetically peeking | 64% | 91 |
| #5 | sebbers | 63% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebbers | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Heavy Main | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | cosmetically peeking | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | cult of the gyatt | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | disembodied feminine aura | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebbers | 502 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | cosmetically peeking | 176 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | cult of the gyatt | 118 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | donovanjones1992 | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | disembodied feminine aura | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebbers | +3.77 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | Michael Jordan of drunk driving | +2.93 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | cult of the gyatt | +1.40 | 48 | 55 |
| #4 | disembodied feminine aura | +0.61 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | donovanjones1992 | -0.16 | 50 | 63 |





