








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1378 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1692 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 718 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,864 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | airballer :3 | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | disembodied feminine aura | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Michael Jordan of drunk driving | 64% | 91 |
| #4 | cult of the gyatt | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | sebbers | 59% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sebbers | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | cult of the gyatt | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | disembodied feminine aura | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Heavy Main | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Michael Jordan of drunk driving | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oob | +8.22 | 95 | 12 |
| #2 | sebbers | +3.66 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Michael Jordan of drunk driving | +3.56 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | cult of the gyatt | +1.91 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | disembodied feminine aura | +0.83 | 52 | 45 |





