








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1498 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1149 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $486,295 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uzman | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | キリンドクター | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | hajonnutkengäntekijä | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hajonnutkengäntekijä | 208 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Uzman | 196 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | 146 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | キリンドクター | 145 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | SINI♡ | 132 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tane | +3.87 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | ✪ Turbo | +3.63 | 77 | 45 |
| #3 | Nokia | +2.60 | 91 | 64 |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | +2.25 | 82 | 73 |
| #5 | Pate vaa (= | +1.48 | 78 | 59 |





