








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2649 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1647 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3169 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3599 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,604 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wolfgraven | 52% | 137 |
| #2 | Glazby | 49% | 84 |
| #3 | Pumpy | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙯𝙞𝙫𝙚 | 46% | 163 |
| #5 | kreztian | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pumpy | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙯𝙞𝙫𝙚 | 46% | 163 |
| #5 | kreztian | 43% | 89 |
| #6 | Guts | 42% | 53 |
| #7 | Amogus | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙯𝙞𝙫𝙚 | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Wolfgraven | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | kreztian | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Amogus | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Glazby | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙯𝙞𝙫𝙚 | 440 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | kreztian | 317 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Wolfgraven | 247 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Guts | 236 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Glazby | 188 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valhalla | +2.96 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | Glazby | +1.00 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | Guts | -0.48 | 48 | 57 |
| #4 | 𝙀𝙭𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙯𝙞𝙫𝙚 | -0.55 | 27 | 63 |
| #5 | Wolfgraven | -0.89 | 52 | 55 |





