








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3574 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3640 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4307 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,005,693 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | . | 50% | 171 |
| #10 | 123(硬钢10000版) | 50% | 92 |
| #11 | cjxjason | 50% | 338 |
| #12 | GLaYD | 50% | 250 |
| #13 | Lichi Del Rey | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muserxu pop | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | . | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | cjxjason | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 罪 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | G-MAN | 9 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muserxu pop | 980 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | GLaYD | 937 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | cjxjason | 741 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #4 | Lichi Del Rey | 675 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #5 | 罪 | 524 | 0.21 | 15 min |





