








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5274 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6107 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2747 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5395 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,068,393 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | . | 49% | 208 |
| #7 | cjxjason | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | GLaYD | 47% | 445 |
| #9 | G-MAN | 43% | 119 |
| #10 | Vi. | 43% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muserxu pop | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | . | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | GLaYD | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Rain | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Vi. | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GLaYD | 1556 | 0.17 | 43 min |
| #2 | Muserxu pop | 1268 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #3 | . | 254 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vi. | 229 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rain | 197 | 0.05 | 4 min |





