










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1993 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2266 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,412 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | 你好可爱 | 44% | 79 |
| #10 | Lichi Del Rey | 43% | 180 |
| #11 | GLaYD | 42% | 216 |
| #12 | 善 | 41% | 34 |
| #13 | G-MAN | 41% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muserxu pop | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Lichi Del Rey | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | . | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | G-MAN | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Rain | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GLaYD | 840 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | Lichi Del Rey | 710 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #3 | Muserxu pop | 662 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #4 | Rain | 243 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | . | 238 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 吉祥泡泡 | +3.68 | 83 | 48 |
| #2 | 罪 | +1.33 | 62 | 73 |
| #3 | . | +1.11 | 60 | 52 |
| #4 | Muserxu pop | +1.01 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | 善 | +0.92 | 56 | 50 |





