








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,219 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3789 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2462 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2109 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 859 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,348 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | VilZu | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | babyjoda | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | j0daym4stah | 45% | 53 |
| #12 | Jaketsuh | 43% | 53 |
| #13 | Pyöveli | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 214 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | UNCLEMAN | 198 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | j0daym4stah | 184 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jopessi | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Skitzo_2 | 104 | 0.09 | 3 min |





