








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2487 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3094 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,535 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Jopessi | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 41% | 145 |
| #12 | JLeiska | 38% | 61 |
| #13 | VilZu | 29% | 17 |
| #14 | J̶w̶E̶r̶T̶y̶ | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLEMAN | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Skitzo_2 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Pyöveli | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | J̶w̶E̶r̶T̶y̶ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skitzo_2 | 293 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | UNCLEMAN | 275 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | KolmioMafian Presidentti | 194 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | babyjoda | 162 | 0.14 | 5 min |





