








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4365 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3775 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3494 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3024 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,107 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jopessi | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | KolmioMafian Presidentti | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | babyjoda | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | UNCLEMAN | 48% | 178 |
| #5 | j0daym4stah | 47% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jaketsuh | 45% | 137 |
| #8 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 45% | 188 |
| #9 | JLeiska | 42% | 84 |
| #10 | J̶w̶E̶r̶T̶y̶ | 35% | 46 |
| #11 | läski samin guccireppu | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLEMAN | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | j0daym4stah | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Pyöveli | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | JLeiska | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLEMAN | 432 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | j0daym4stah | 337 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 307 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jaketsuh | 226 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | KolmioMafian Presidentti | 205 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j0daym4stah | +2.94 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | babyjoda | +2.43 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | Skitzo_2 | +1.92 | 63 | 76 |
| #4 | Pyöveli | +0.80 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | Jopessi | +0.68 | 57 | 62 |





