








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3308 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2941 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2335 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2587 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,633 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 44% | 71 |
| #13 | Jaketsuh | 42% | 71 |
| #14 | J̶w̶E̶r̶T̶y̶ | 37% | 38 |
| #15 | VilZu | 36% | 28 |
| #16 | JLeiska | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skitzo_2 | 242 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | KolmioMafian Presidentti | 242 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | UNCLEMAN | 195 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 191 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jaketsuh | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |





