








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,455 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1515 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 897 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1193 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,444 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leadpex | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | l1psl4p | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | c6x | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | thok | 48% | 75 |
| #5 | catfood | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | catfood | 47% | 75 |
| #6 | Lucid | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | Samsung | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | RyanMcC | 29% | 17 |
| #9 | -Mat_ | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thok | 14 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | catfood | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | l1psl4p | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | RyanMcC | 6 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | -Mat_ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l1psl4p | 193 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | catfood | 168 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lucid | 139 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | thok | 138 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Samsung | 97 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Mat_ | +2.70 | 80 | 78 |
| #2 | Lucid | +1.98 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | Leadpex | +1.06 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | c6x | +0.88 | 59 | 71 |
| #5 | thok | +0.46 | 61 | 47 |





