








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 566 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 185 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10530 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8133 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6703 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,628,028 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauptimaupti | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | Ramses | 54% | 138 |
| #3 | PaJz_IXE | 53% | 275 |
| #4 | Bayreuther Hell | 53% | 105 |
| #5 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 53% | 418 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sliN | 51% | 667 |
| #7 | Nate Dogg | 51% | 274 |
| #8 | InceptxDark | 51% | 468 |
| #9 | Wurstkreatur | 47% | 83 |
| #10 | pandarox | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sliN | 10 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | InceptxDark | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | PaJz_IXE | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Wurstkreatur | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sliN | 2558 | 0.18 | 72 min |
| #2 | ☢︎BONOBOrUSHB® | 1660 | 0.18 | 43 min |
| #3 | Nate Dogg | 1097 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #4 | InceptxDark | 545 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #5 | Wurstkreatur | 314 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sliN | +3.93 | 90 | 75 |
| #2 | Ramses | +0.69 | 77 | 45 |
| #3 | Nate Dogg | -0.18 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | Septer | -0.35 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | InceptxDark | -0.48 | 68 | 56 |





