








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 333 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3117 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2700 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 661 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,396,866 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | 97% | 32 |
| #2 | Ajoyfulpig | 86% | 21 |
| #3 | ROb | 79% | 34 |
| #4 | heck | 78% | 37 |
| #5 | Tyson | 76% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ochsner | 74% | 142 |
| #10 | Firefoxjen | 72% | 144 |
| #11 | Mainmast | 71% | 51 |
| #12 | Donnie (The Problem) | 70% | 53 |
| #13 | Ugosplodes | 62% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 33 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Jedi Ken | 28 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Tyson | 21 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Knocks | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Ochsner | 10 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 810 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | Knocks | 578 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Ochsner | 490 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #4 | Jedi Ken | 446 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | Firefoxjen | 295 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ishtar | +3.66 | 99 | 48 |
| #2 | Knocks | +3.65 | 63 | 86 |
| #3 | Ajoyfulpig | +3.39 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | Mazy | +2.90 | 68 | 60 |
| #5 | Donnie (The Problem) | +2.27 | 73 | 74 |





