








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1349 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1352 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1167 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1010 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1022 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $338,740 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zefee | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | teible | 42% | 50 |
| #3 | Danksy | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | -.- | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | L4ma | 35% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -.- | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | L4ma | 35% | 63 |
| #6 | Eulogy | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Watto | 29% | 14 |
| #8 | Aquelo | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4ma | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | teible | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Danksy | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Watto | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4ma | 233 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | teible | 123 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Danksy | 67 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | zefee | 44 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | Watto | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WienerCommanderFTW | +1.64 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | Eulogy | +1.58 | 55 | 66 |
| #3 | L4ma | +0.79 | 57 | 70 |
| #4 | Watto | +0.51 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | zefee | +0.02 | 57 | 80 |





